|
| i feel like almost every work of fiction i make should involve either a zombie outbreak or an alien invasion, so why should blindspots be an exception. though you don't see much of them in the actual storyline aside from hearsay and news reports. lets say that somewhere in south asia, precise origin unknown, a virus by course of evolution naturally mutates into having the ability after infection to control the host organism's brain to function as a sort of macrocosm of the evolutionary and survival desires of the virus itself, that is, the drive to continue to infect other organisms and allow the virus to replicate as much as possible. being a brainless virus, it is only driven by its figurative "loins" to replicate, infect and involve, even if it could lead to the destruction of all animal life on earth. the thing that makes this different from other zombie stories is that animals can also get infected, though some species or strains of species are immune. this further complicates things, because any sort of human quarantine effort will be severely undermined if the virus spreads to sea animals and they manage to spread it to previously uninfected areas, such as japan, which, due to a combination of being geographic isolation, being comprised solely of islands, and a quick reaction to the outbreak, implementing strict security and quarantine measures at all air and seaports across the islands quickly and efficiently, was successfully able to prevent the virus from spreading into its borders, where the story takes place, on a joint american-allied military base/medical research facility in the kansai region. i might change that to kantou if i never get around to learning enough osaka-ben enough to include some every once in a while, but i think since this takes place far in the future i can assume that language standardization will be a lot more widespread than it is today, for better or worse, and almost everyone will be speaking tokyo-ben or standard to most people most of the time. which is already taking me long enough to learn as it is. i think it would be interesting to make the dialogue bilingual, having english translations for the parts in japanese in the english version and then the opposite for the other, but that's really complicated, i dunno if thats plausible at all. maybe i could just make a little notation over quote bubbles that are in japanese and then actually write it all in english, and then translate the whole thing for any other language versions and note which parts are in what language. now i'm just confusing myself. but it would be interesting, since everyone is supposed to know english anyway to only translate the non-english parts into chinese or korean or spanish or whatever, and be forced to figure out the american high-schooler slang and military/science jargon themselves. maybe like have a glossary after every chapter or something. now that's edutainment! man i'm lame. i just think more people should be multilingual.. if everyone in the world spoke english, another european language, and an asian or some other non-european language, das would be tite to the hella. anyway, i think it would be cool as an independently produced free web comic, but then i'd have to learn to draw and make websites. FUCK i dunno if id ever get around to that, probably not. joiwerjoiejroiewj maybe just plan on a book for now.. several years from now FUCK thats gay totally not what i wanted ok anywa y the main character, lacuna dyer, is a girl of u.s. citizenship born to a japanese-american father (who also happens to be a quarter brazilian) also of u.s. citizenship (family moved to LA when he was around 10, speaks japanese and english but not portuguese) and a caucasian-american egg-donor mother (he gave her the last name of her mother instead of his own for various reasons, one being simply so that she could have all her ethnicities represented throughout her name, lacuna being latin, and her middle name being japanese). later it is revealed to the reader that she is actually a natural blonde (i'll make it so that the blonde gene from her dad which he got from his half brazilian mom, which she got from her brazilian dad who happened to be of mostly of european descent, mixes with her mom's blonde genes to make her blonde, since these sort of genes tend to hop across to the opposite gender from generation to generation, i think, or at least thats what im gonna do, screw you science), but dyes her hair black in order to fit in with and blend into the world outside the base, which she typically only fantasizes about due to the strict restrictions held by the both the base (she can leave, but it's a huge hassle and very hard to find some loophole around the requirement for parental consent for children under 18, with her being a few months away from turning 18 at the beginning of the story), and her father's own strict curfews despite him hardly ever being home or even in the country, instead monitoring her through advanced home security technology (the source of a significant amount of psychological distress for her). it's ironic that she would dye her hair black to fit in, because it makes her stand out more on base, where she actually is, since most kids at her school are white. throughout the story one of the underlying themes that persists would be wanting to be something you're not, or especially wanting to be somewhere your not. she frequently fantasizes about leaving the cozy, boring confines of the base to hop a train to tokyo and experience a faster paced life, one with freedom from the same annoying, stubborn, misunderstanding (or at least so perceived by her) people that surround her every day. from reading it i'd sort of want people who have always lived in large cities to see the anguish and anxiety some youths experience being trapped in the boring suburbs or backwoods parts of whatever country while fantasizing about being somewhere more exciting and learn to appreciate what they have. or else just be amused because they feel the same way about not wanting to be in the city. maybe near the end she will just run off to tokyo on her own, as an 18th birthday present to herself, and then there'll be an outbreak in the city through a breach in the fish supply (lol) due to a tainted fish not being inspected properly and then she'll have to use her ninja werefox skills or whatever to fight and sneak her way out of the city, along with her friends (whom she previously wondered if they were really her friends or not) who followed her there under the pretense of having their own week off from school in the city. rambolingu desuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu her dad, simply referred to as "dr. kuromiya (黒宮)" does some sort of "covert operations" for the u.s. government, that's all that is known throughout the entire series, and is practically never at home. even considering the serious nature of his job, he is far more serious than most of his colleagues and is not as actively sociable, rather only socializing in response to chit-chat initiated by others (that's not to say he's stuck up, he just has a really mellow sense of humor and is almost always focused on work until someone brings up something else), while he himself is usually the first to initiate discussions on matters pertaining to the job at hand (though all scenes and dialogue about his job that's shown in the story are extremely vague, as in him talking with a colleague by the water fountain about lacuna, and then segueing into "so about that report you handed in to me yesterday..", and then that's it, end scene). and despite his somewhat creepy monitoring of and overbearing strictness with lacuna he's actually really nice to her whenever he is around and buys her whatever she wants so long as its something that is useful, practical, and will help her become a stronger or smarter person. of the numerous psychological examinations that the story goes through as it runs its course, one of the focuses will be her father and his motivations in having and raising lacuna. essentially, what will come out is that he, as a result of the way things in his life went, he felt like much of it was spent overcoming unnecessary obstacles, and chasing distractions such as revenge, and lust, of which distractions, when he came to obtain them, felt just as unfulfilled as before and realized that the only cure for his sadness was power, and he was only left with the wish that he had spent more time and had more means when he was younger becoming a stronger and smarter person. by having a child, he is allowing himself to have a vicarious sort of "second chance" at the life he wished to live, by giving her access to all the things he never had, and teaching her how to be diligent, mature, calm, detached, and focused on real progress above all else. whatever power he expects her to gain he expects none of in return, only wishing to see someone he loves have all the chances he never had and to grow and become stronger and smarter than he is, resulting in her happiness, and a sort of engineered evolution, since happiness is the thing that he lacks most. he specifically aimed to have a girl, knowing that in this social world, he, as socially inept as he is, knows more than anyone else that the social advantages girls have far outweigh the physical advantages that a boy would have, so having a girl, in his mind, allows him to cultivate a more powerful child overall, while also being a sort of "experiment", seeing that one minor factor of gender change from parent to child and how the child's development would differ from the parent's. but there are obvious blindspots in his logic, things that he may be in denial of or not thought of, just like any other character who goes through the same process, being human as they are. one major one being that she derives no social benefit nor feeling of empowerment from being trapped at home all day caged like a bird and that letting someone do what they want to in order to be happy is often much more empowering to them than simply forcing them to overcome obstacles and work and be serious all the time. of course, her survival skills and abilities to come to a logical decision quickly under pressure are keener than pretty much everyone else in the story, including most of the military personnel on base, she is ultimately unhappy, deriving no pleasure from interaction with the people around her, always feeling like an outsider looking in, that all of her social instincts are inherently wrong and that she has to act different from how she really is and say things she doesn't really mean (basically being fake, which people at her school can see through and dislike about her), and worst of all being frustrated not being able to get anything done because no one will cooperate with her. she probably has the most psychological issues of anyone in the story, having that of at least 4 or 5 characters combined, though you couldn't really tell because on the outside she acts more maturely and rationally than pretty much anyone else in the story, even her dad. so, while most of the other characters only get one or two spots in the confession chamber or whatever, i dont even remember what it is, i wrote about it in some other post a long time ago, her dad getting the second to last, she gets around like ten instances throughout the story where she gets put under examination and is forced to come to grips with what is wrong with her and understand and accept it, her also being the first and last instance. her dad will experience his psychological "beating" or whatever you want to call it when he comes home by surprise on her birthday and finds out that she ran away to tokyo and then finds out about the break out and is forced to question why she would run away like that without telling him, and how he would feel if she died or got hurt or infected (he decides he would hide her in a basement somewhere until they find a cure). anyway back to the zombies.. at the start of the story the outbreak has spread from south asia to most of southeast asia, the middle east, central asia as well as most of africa and eastern europe. since the virus turns the victim into a zombie within a few hours, any infected who managed to get on a plane before news of the outbreak got out ended up infecting their whole plane and crashing and burning or drowning everyone onboard, not allowing the virus to spread further, so because of that, anyplace more than 4 or 5 hours by plane away from south asia is generally safe unless the virus spreads by foot. the major battle fronts are eastern europe and southern china, trying to keep the virus from spreading further north into the rest of europe and northeast asia. due to the virus being able to infect all sorts of animals, even after a solid, comprehensive defense is set up spanning miles and miles of territory, there is still a humongous risk of animals getting through, the worst being small animals and birds. basically the first major medical conclusion about the virus is that, if it doesn't have blood, it can't be infected, so bugs (i might have to check on this), as well as plants can't be infected. thus, to set up a defense in somewhere with a lot of wildlife, like a jungle, is pointless, and the best defenses are set up in deserts, tundras, mountain tops, etc. generally an infected human doesnt live more than a month, and an infected bird can't live more than a week, so after successfully setting up automated long-range movement sensing defense turrets (if it detects a bird or mouse a few miles away trying to cross the border, it will shoot it) from china all the way to eastern europe it simply becomes a waiting game. that is, until you factor in the fact that it can spread through the ocean as well. so then coastline armament becomes necessary, or at least, in places like australia where theres a lot of empty land its only necessary to defend the populated areas. man this is so extreme. also near the initial point of outbreak, there was a community of people in northern india whose genes were somehow resistant to the virus (just as there are people who are resistant to the hiv virus in real life) and after weeks nonstop fighting and hiding, a u.s. special task force (wearing full bio-gear of course, was finally able to get in and rescue the survivors and transport them to a special quarantined research facility in the mongolian desert. among the rescued, there was one teenage boy who, unlike the others he was rescued with whose bodies would harbor the virus but never allow it to activate, his body would take a further step and actually just eat the virus like it was the flu. so, with all these assets being too valuable to keep all in the same place, especially the immunity boy, they transported him to the medical research facility in japan where lacuna lives and the story plakes tace and hes one of the characters yay. also the other kids who are main characters can be children of anyone from medical researchers (the twins who fight all the time) or cafeteria workers (the emo kid who's mean to everyone) who work on base. now i gotta go watch persona and high school of the dead cause theyre so simirar desu. thats weird how the persona concept is so similar to the thing i came up with however many years ago, but i think the persona games have been around longer, even though i never heard of them until recentry this year. SO WEIRDDD DESU | | |
| yes, now i realize
that realistically,
most working, busy adults don't have much time to watch cartoons,
even putting their prideful fear of watching kiddy crap aside.
so if any of this story is to have any effect,
it's got to appeal to the younger crowd.
the new, dependent lives that have more free time,
because someone else is spending theirs making them survive.
i think most of the more serious issues addressed in the story
would appeal more and be more easily understood
and coped with by an older crowd,
so it would probably be better to make a young adult-aimed show.
if it was popular enough, it could be made into a movie that adults could get into,
or even a simplified, cleaned-up kiddy version to start reeling them in early.
we also gotta add encouragements to do homework, etc.
and not spend too much time lolligagging and watching cartoons.
resist your temptation to watch every episode in a row!
the story has a greater effect when you give each episode a day to sink in
and be incorporated into your life.
so then we'll attract smart kids and kids who are gonna be successful and useful,
or influence the uninspired slackers to want to be that way.
____
so the four main characters are actually mutants.
they're teenage, and no, they're not turtles.
they were created by a genius biological scientist
and his technology savvy wife.
they bred them from their own sets of genes,
and altered every chromosome
before the kids were even born.
think "powerpuff girls," but less cute crap.
they bred them with perfections and the cost of serious defects and imbalances
to fight the things that bring humanity, life, love, and all that is good down.
one has the power to control metal magnetically and energy electrically while in one form,
and create voids and make things disappear and cease to exist while in another.
one has the power to bend, stretch, shift and reshape its body easily as water,
and run, leap, and act faster, further and further than any living thing that breathes.
one has the power to harden it's body into harder armor than stone,
and regenerate after melting and burning itself and anything it wants to destroy.
one has the power to control life forces, to give and make grow like a fast-forward forest,
or to take and drain, steal light and radiate when it gets too hungry for pleasure.
i'm changing the names of the four main characters
to make them more simple, and name them after colors and elements.
if i can't think of anything else, i might just end up calling them
black, blue, red, and green.
____
their main enemies can be put into three categories:
1.) the natural, organic ones,
the living death-force of infectious diseases,
both biologically- and chemically-induced.
the demons older than dinosaurs
that still remain to feed off of us
and slow humanity's progress to its purpose.
by the time they reach their evolutionary pinnacle in this story,
to only be destroyed by sentient beings,
they've grown the ability to possess
humans, animals, plants alike,
turn them into raving zombies,
random unplanned mutants,
hellbent on spreading their master's seed,
they only live to spread the disease.
many of the two main scientist's ancestors were infected with the ancestors of these diseases,
and so they live to avenge the pain their families have lived through.
2.) robots, aliens, and cyborgs from space.
this is more of an advanced enemy that comes later on since they would need to be really powerful
to battle any enemy capable of traveling so far and fast through space alive.
the aliens represent all of the other evolutionary possibilities throughout other instances of the universe,
and the image that having the right aims and determination and relentlessness can allow
a much less advanced competitor/defender defeat a more advanced enemy.
3.) other mutants created by a rival scientist combo.
these clones are crappy copies of the four main characters, and there are a ton of them.
their parents are trying to accomplish similar things as the main characters' parents,
but for more selfish reasons.
they experiment constantly, creating as many mutants as possible in hopes of one of them randomly turning out to be as good as any of the perfect defects.
what they lack in careful, divinely planned and inspired, quality,
they make up for with quantity,
and create random chaotic, unstable, mutants,
that don't listen to their parents, so they use coercion to try to control them.
these mutants have very short lifespans and are constantly in pain
| | |
| summary:
the villain, the murderer in the first song 'rigor mortis'
after being forced to kill the only thing he loved more than power,
a woman, a princess, who loved him unconditionally,
embarks on an intergalactic journey to reach the interdimensional portal
that will allow him to travel back in time,
kill his former self and bring her back to life by never letting her die.
the villain becomes the hero, by killing his weaker self in the end.
his remorse from the events in the first song,
lead him to find the means to disconnect from his enslavers,
who controlled his mind and body through cybernetic implants.
no longer a all-powerful cyborg warrior,
but now the weak, skin-and-bone remains
of a man relied so much on machine
he is required to endure the namesake of the second song,
his "divine punishment" for his failure to comply to the angel's holy word and let her fall.
his punishment is divine because it must be the first step to his attainment
of righteous, self-sourcing power.
with her undying ghost inside him,
he embarks on the "path to radiance" to find her in the third song.
she speaks from the grave as her ghost burns inside him
to mutate him into a merciless warrior of stealth.
an agent unstoppable, for she knows of all that can stop him,
and he avoids these things with ease by living out her voice.
he dives straight into what he needs, unafraid of damage,
for love's regeneration is constant.
when he reaches her he battles his former self
and combines with her and wins.
by balancing out himself with her, and not his weaker self,
the story attains "equilibrium", and the fourth song, the final battle is won.
details:
he's a soldier, assassin, a thief, and a slave.
controlled by the cybernetic conspiracy of
an energy-stealing, galaxy-polluting corporation,
this combined crew of space-pirating companies
that seek to only take and never to give.
meet the totalitarian terror-corps.
they force him to remain a member, a tool,
and carry out all their black-hole plans,
to cyber-rape space-stations, cities, even planets,
and steal whatever source of energy their culture happens to be living off of.
the survivors of the initial attacks are captured and turned into slaves,
some to be soldiers,
by the installation cybernetic implants into their brains and bodies
that control their energy levels
and project subliminal messages into their ears and images into their eyes,
drugs released into their brains to get them in whatever mood
their masters believe they should be in at the moment.
he commits his last true crime in the opening song 'rigor mortis',
by being forced to kill the one thing he learned to finally love,
the woman that loved him unconditionally,
that loved the monster beneath the machine.
the angel whose spell could lift the fog up and let his eyes taste reality.
for she's this planet's princess,
ingrained with the lifeforce of a billion newborn babies.
some say her to be some sort of mutant for the godliness her powers;
she controls the calm that binds the peace of this populace's mind.
but the irony here, is that he was sent to kill her in specific.
and he could face the torture, the forfeit of powers, to become a slug,
if he so chooses to resist this mission.
but he is a rogue. a stealther so stealthy,
that he can hide his true feelings even from himself.
even his enslavers listening to his brainwaves
wouldn't know what he was planning..
he seduces her, or has she seduced of him?
to get her alone seems all part of his mission.
inside the capital city's cornerstone royal mansion,
a city-sized palace,
they cross the lake of tranquility,
to the private island cottage in the center.
they proceed to do the deed,
not the literal murder of flesh,
but stabbing of flesh indeed.
and the hero's captors tolerate their moans and cries,
for she has been bred such biological defenses
by people of her planet home
that she would need to be her most vulnerable,
to even be susceptible to the most miniscule of harm.
she gives him a chance to disconnect his wires,
when she has taken full control over his mind and body,
the moment that they both orgasm in unison,
leaving his captors with nothing but a blank, silent signal.
"through this moment of infinite power and oneness, time moved so slow.
the seconds i shot into the wound slowed to minutes, hours, days, a lifetime.
we came as one the exact same time, it took you 6 and me all 9.
the world stood still forever, then i lost control of my mind.
my body should have done what she had wanted
when the images took over and i failed the most important test,
lies fed straight to my brain
made the sight of her a monster.
a demon with snakes for hair and knives as fingernails.
of this i would normally not see a problem.
but in this instance, i saw this beast reach out to strike,
to harm the girl i love more than myself.
she had told me that when the time comes to live or die,
to save my own life first, be selfish and not save hers.
"CUT THE CORD" she screamed and pulled,
unplugged some wires from my neck.
i disobeyed and killed the beast,
not knowing it was the only thing
i ever hoped could live.
i disobeyed and let her die,
by only caring to accomplish the exact opposite of her death."
(so basically his masters mess with his vision to make it look like she's some sort of monster,
and then make a lamp post or some random object look like her,
so when it looks like the monster is attacking her,
he kills the monster which was actually her.
he should've just listened to her and cut the cords."
her ghost escapes and she survives,
by jackhammering her entire spirit and soul into his,
like the opposite of sex,
woman into man, not man into woman.
mind into mind, not flesh into flesh.
he short-circuits, electrocuted,
as her heart becomes his brain.
the shock of her death, even worse at his own accidental hands,
this behemoth monument of an emotional trauma,
leads him to the need and the decision
to break free of the evil that's blackmailing him, burning, controlling him.
and by cutting all the wires like chains,
he forfeits a benefit, by losing the restraints
the power, the electricity, the ease of accomplishment.
this computer that runs up walls for him,
procures the loot for him,
moves his hands and eyes to eliminate targets for him,
is gone in all but an instant.
without it,
he's a zombie.
a body with nothing but muscle-memory, beliefs, and choices.
and the childlike need to learn.
he becomes weak, indecisive,
straying, floating, barely surviving.
he feels the world wants to end him.
tangible, physical-world weakness
being the deepest torture a man can ever hope to overcome,
he receives his holy punishment with a smile.
for her ghost within him
tells him all the world's secrets
that he needs to survive and conquer.
he lives because she believes.
he cut the cord that sought to end her spirit,
before the ghost of her could fade and vanish forever.
and the life of her that's left in him
grows back silently so strong
with every action he feels to take
towards bringing her back to life again.
he must travel dimensions,
to a parallel universe.
and slay himself before he slays her.
even if the paradox ceases his life, his existence,
by attaining this goal, his death becomes life.
and he can love her forever through nonexistence.
so he embarks on this quest, this path of trials,
her force inside becomes a monstrous growth,
so rapid it makes him mutant.
with every success a hand will create,
it gains a growth, the power to destroy.
the more he learns to change,
the faster he can change,
until her mind mutates his matter on command.
he can shapeshift,
evolve through generations in a matter of seconds.
his light, her fire that burns inside
sees through all the darkness around him.
he knows the rhythm of enemy lies.
deceitful little plans to kill
with sweetness, with sleep,
the traps are closing in.
he holds it against them.
and makes them pay,
at least the ones whose death
would speed up her pace, his saving day.
they suspect he's god,
all-knowing, all being,
and their respect or fear just makes it all easier.
she knows the plan, the players, the path
and he knows the voice inside be so true.
he sneaks his way from building to building,
from spaceport to spaceship,
vessel to vessel,
his love spans planets and galaxies.
he talks, he hides, he acts, he pries.
steals tools and ships, identities and lives
from those who prey on the easy, the weak.
he sneak-fights his way until
he reaches the portal to his final stage.
an interdemensional transport to his destiny, her, the destination.
the light that emanates so bright burns a vacuum.
he feels no other emotion but pure ecstatic radiance.
it's her reserve rewards to him.
here mind becomes the matter.
clears everything out but all the heart and its wants.
the mind fights against it with arrogant truths.
tempted to construct the inner-child's fantasy and be trapped here forever.
he could just stay and dream of a perfect life with her.
and it would feel real.
if he did not KNOW it wasn't real,
he could live the dream forever.
he lays and plays.
his power wanes. the feeling drains,
her heart uninspired fades weary while he waits.
caliginosity conquers the love that lays inactive.
so he breaks the dark with truth,
reclaims the restlessness of youth,
moves his body and his mind
with the mere knowledge that it's working.
it's his own choice to move through matter,
to break free of this feeling of fake ease,
the disease he conquered once,
when he broke his cyborg powers
and learned to grow
fifty times faster than a fetus feeding stem-cell milk like plasma from the sun.
he reconstructs in his mind
the dimension, the plane, the point in time where the events of 'rigor mortis' happen,
detail by detail, molecule by molecule.
and then he finds himself reborn
with the ability to split and reproduce himself into an army of shapeshifting mutants.
he rips off an arm and throws it on the ground.
a new arm grows back,
and a new being grows out from the severed arm,
another friend, another ally.
he goes to battle with his former cyborg self
and the army of cyber-pirates that fly in as backup.
he leads the pack through the crowd,
carving a carcass canyon through the army of metal-in-flesh,
to reach his love, so thankfully intact.
his flesh opens up and he swallows her whole.
she's safe inside his cavern of wet oozing flesh,
that's padded by a skull-like skeletal structure in his chest,
that's sixty times stronger than steel.
she fuses with him and they mutate into one.
she, now unstoppable receptive force,
combined with his insatiable greed for power,
feeds on the machines and suck out their energy.
like a black hole, they drain the electricity from the cyborgs,
and then move on to the entire planet.
the mutant grows, becomes a giant.
the crawling, begging zombie bodies
of cyborgs without their drugs, their superficial powers,
know not what to do
and are helpless to become devoured by the hero's smaller mutant allies.
they feed, combine,
devour, become devoured into one.
the planet is absorbed.
their love overflows.
the monster explodes.
a ball of plasma.
a supernova.
but froze in time like a family photo,
it stabilizes,
stays a star.
attains equilibrium.
and so the hero and the girl he killed himself to save,
became the light we know and love,
the sun, the light of our life.
we feel their love still burning so strong to this day.
| | |
| i apologize my not-so-good sir
that you decide to have this problem,
to blame, to whine, to undermine
your selfish little goals through mine.
you hate your own design.
this minus zero patience
has you clawing desperate at the ends.
neanderthal comprehends no means.
you'll get your finish. you'll get your rest.
tonight you'll sleep, but have no dreams.
fulfill this wish to expend no effort.
if you want to fast forward,
there's no point in stalling.
your angel's hearse is already calling.
invisible mercury spine is ready to break glass
inside the instinct's space throughout my animal skull.
140 reads the temper on the thermometer to tantrum.
pan. de. monium.
i'm sorry if it seems like i'm scared;
it'll help your defenses to be unprepared.
for you'll cease to hold the title, the victor superficial.
after the ill-thought wits of this verbal encounter
lead you to an inexplicably ambushed ending.
what i'm so, so really afraid of my friend,
is actually the feeling
that a heart-attack, in-your-sleep accident
might drop your unsubtle sarcasm in the sewer,
soon after you've laid your stress to rest
feeling safely fled from your crime.
i'd cry on your grave for seven aching days straight
for i would feel the funeral my fault.
it was my slow speed of service
toward clipping the right wires
to stop your own-self destruction
that make you want to err against me.
don't aim too fast for the throat,
my dear, little self-destruct man,
or the world may have to wonder
why we waste energy keeping you alive.
and the numbness of this desert's poker-faced brain teared up,
and water fell from my eyes for seven righteous paychecks straight
like a waterfall of gold cascading from la luna
into a moonlit lake on earth.
i gave up some things that had made me truly happy
for love, sweet money. the power, oh the power,
the green, green grass that decorates the marble halls
of my new empowered conscience will pay for all of our mistakes:
you and other obsolete antiques we photographed to break.
at loss of innocence and pride,
i rest less, for the chance of ever filling this
vacuum black hole of i heart i used to have.
i will get the girl, and mark my words,
of these hating hearts, none can stop me.
not with their thousand burning suns,
and i trust that god should help with its own cause.
feel no pain.
remain undrained.
you live, you die.
it's all the same.
suck it up and stand up straight.
break ego.
just smile.
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| this is something i've been needing to write about the perfect defects for like a month, but i never got around to it somehow.
originally, finnix and clann are male, while mira and cleyr are female, but i think i should change mira and clann's gender identities.
i think finnix is still better off as a male because of his body type and his personality. it's hard to realistically imagine a female being as badass as him. plus males grow muscle mass way easier and it just makes sense cause he's like the epitome of macho. and cleyr is still better off as a female because females are more charming and likable in general. normally, most guys and girls would feel more comfortable and happy around someone with her personality that's female than someone with her personality that's male, cause a male like that would be too creepy for many girls and too gay/femme/friendly/fabulous for many guys. i do need to redefine her lust aspect though, like tone down her sex drive (nymphomania could just be an occasional phase), have her be more starved for affection and social interaction instead, and make her artistic abilities more naturally feminine and less like artistic things that mostly guys do (might get complicated, but she's probably still gonna do everything).
from the start clann and cleyr have had the "mind" powers, while mira and finnix have had the "body" powers. but if you compare it to real life, then out of all the people that are in very good physical shape and able to do amazing things with their bodies, the male to female ratio would probably be more like 3:1 than 1:1. so instead of having mira full woman, she can also be half man. i guess i can call her man form miro since its slightly more masculine. i dont care if its a finch song. blow me. actually, miro can be more of a guy than a girl most of the time. the way he is and the things he does is more like a guy than a girl.
miro is very similar to clann in that they both appear weak, bland, boring, and
blend into the crowd without sticking out, and they both have mad ninja
skills, except miro is more like the actual ninja who climbs around and
does flips and runs super fast and throws stuff, while clann is the
mastermind tactician and strategist and user of tools, devices, and
weapons. miro and clann also make a thief mindset (greed + envy). waaaaaay back in the beginning, my idea of clann was totally different from what he is now, and slowly i transferred most of the traits from that original clann onto mira. and now, i transfer the gender too. miro is a shapeshifter, and his girl impersonation is very convincing. or is her male impersonation really convincing? could be either! this also makes it more ok when finnix fights with him (cause he'd have to hold back for a girl, which miro could exploit by transforming into a girl and looking really cute and weak in the middle of a fight). and guys are more competitive by nature anyway.
in a way, miro can be almost the same as finnix, except that he emphasizes different things. for example, miro has more problems with envy and finnix has more problems with pride, but they are essentially the same things with different focuses (envy is looking up at people, pride is looking down on them). anger and fear also go hand-in-hand. finnix may focus more on offense (anger) and miro may focus more on defense (fear), but finnix's aggressiveness essentially stems from defensiveness, and miro's defensiveness and paranoia and frequent stress can easily lead to offensive measures.
i haven't thought of ways that miro is similar to cleyr, but it's probably mostly about how they mirror people's personalities when they talk to them, except that cleyr does it tastefully and tactifully to make people fell more comfortable being themselves, while miro outright copies the crap out of everyone totally unintentionally because he doesnt understand his identity, so he unwillingly takes from others. this is getting off topic. onwards, to clann's gender identity:
when thinking of miro as a guy, i started thinking of clann as a girl. but clann as a girl would be way too similar to rei ayanami from neon genesis evangelion, and yuki nagato from the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya (i invented clann before i saw either of these shows, bitches), especially yuki and the way she talks and her abilities. also, clann is really good with guns, but eye-hand coordination is more of a guy thing. but whatever, girls can shoot stuff too. clann is really good at multitasking and managing many complex thoughts and variables at the same time, since her brain is like a computer. (women are naturally better at multitasking). another reason clann would be good as a girl: huge emphasis on social connections (more for utility and business and teamwork and productivity than cleyr, who wants social connections cause they feel good).
i realized that a character who never showed any emotion but was very skilled would still be kinda boring, so i decided to make greed similar to lust, and have clann smile nice and evil wide when she is getting what she wants (or when she wants people to think she is getting what she wants). her poker face is for when she is not getting what she wants, or nothing worth anything is happening, or when she thinks it would be smarter for some reason to hide how much she is enjoying what is happening (which is probably getting what she wants).
but despite me calling clann a "she" this whole time, she could just end up as an androgynous cyborg with no sex drive (that she lets anyone know about, at least, look up schizoid personality disorder on wikipedia). men and women both tend to have a clann attitude about things, although it might be hard to see their goals and their desire for things to be easy underneath their flailing emotions. but besides human genders, something doesn't even have to be alive to have a clann attitude. a computer or machine has pretty much the same beliefs and values as clann, so i guess she could build a robot and marry it. come to think of it, it would be pretty neat if she had different robots following her around all the time. what a slut. lol.
END
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